"Childbirth Preparation Class" No. 3

On my way back to Minneapolis with Adam this time, I was wearing my sunglasses, but Adam could see or tell somehow that I had tears in my eyes.

-My mood has been up and down through out this pregnancy. I was sad that we didn't get to experience a lot of things, that most couples get to experience when they have a baby. I want to be able to hold my baby girl right after she is born and spend time getting to know her and comfort her before she leaves to go to the NICU. But I will only be able to have a quick glance, before they whisk her away and hook her up to several tubes and whatnot. I'm sure that has to be scary for her, just coming into this world and then getting checked out by several doctors and getting tubes put into her tummy. But I won't be able to be there to hold her or talk to her or soothe her.-

And he asked if I wanted to turn around and go home. I didn't though, I wanted to finish out the class and learn all I could learn.

In class, Katy told the birth story process from the view of the baby, then from the view of the mother. She talked about how right after the baby is born, they place the baby on the mother's chest, and the baby, no matter how many other people are around talking, always looks at the mother and father, because she recognizes the voices from in the womb. When she was describing all this, my eyes started to tear up again, but I managed to hold it in.

Then she talked about c-sections, and said that often moms come back after they deliver, and tell Katy that she should have talked about c-sections. And she just nods and smiles, knowing that she talked about it in their class, but most people tune out, because that's not what they want. Since Dr. Fairbanks had just told me that morning that there was no option, but a c-section. So I listened to her tell the birth story from both perspectives again, but for a c-section instead. But even that didn't sound like what my birth story will be, because mom and baby still got to spend time together. Even with a c-section, they will briefly show me our daughter, then Adam will follow her into another room, and then later to the NICU, while they stitch me back up.

Of course, I'm glad we went to the class and learned all that we did, but I only wish that we could have many of these experiences, and that baby wouldn't have to go through everything that she will have to go through.

The "No-Natral-Birth" Doctor

I met mom (and Adam, but he was heading home) at work in the morning to go to Abbott for our growth/ biophysical profile ultrasound, and OB check. We had the same ultrasound technician, Jeanine, who again, did everything as quick as she could, so she could send us on to the next room. Baby again scored eight out of eight on the biophysical profile, but they decided not to do the non-stress test (NST), because she never gets those two points anyway, since they can't really follow her heart rate. When Jeanine measured her for growth, she said she weighted about five pounds! I should have asked how big her head was, since she measured it, but didn't think to until after the fact.

After she finished taking all the measurements and giving baby all the points, she gave us one ultrasound picture that wasn't the greatest (but baby wasn't wanting to face the camera), and sent us across the hall. A nurse came in, whose name I can't remember (Cheryl), and took my weight and went down the list of the usual questions. We talked about the school's closing and how Arlington is closing as well. Then she left and we waited for the doctor.

Soon, Dr. Fairbanks, who Krista (an ultrasound technician at Woodbury) said she liked, came in and said she wanted to have a conversation with us. She said she had heard that we were hoping for a natural birth, versus a c-section. She then told us that baby would not survive a vaginal birth. Quite contrary to what the other doctors we have talked to have said. But, she said that they wouldn't be at my bedside when the time came to deliver. From what I understood, Dr. Calvin (who said he would support us) did sometimes deliver at Abbott (which is why I decided to ask him when he was in for Dr. Ledella one day). And Dr. Payne (who said he preferred it) might not be at my bedside, but might be at baby's bedside after she is born, depending on where he is working that day.

At any rate, I told her my husband and I would discuss it again (as we have several times). I think we're just going to keep asking the different doctors' opinions and see which one comes out on top. But we also want to talk to Dr. Gremmels, as we have never actually asked him what the odds are of her surviving (since that's where Dr. Fairbanks seems to see the problem). Dr. Gremmels knows her heart better than anyone at this point, whereas Dr. Fairbanks had only just met us.

Tour of the NICU & CVCC

Adam and I met with Dr. Payne for a consult today. He was a very kind man who answered all of our questions and explained to us what would be happening the day that baby is born. When I asked him about a natural birth versus a c-section, he said that they encourage natrual births, because the squeezing of their lungs helps them to have fewer breathing problems. But, he explained what the process would be for both situations.

Once we were done asking questions, we met Melissa who took us on a tour of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Granted, I've never seen a NICU before really, but I was impressed. Most of their rooms are individual rooms, and have a "family area" (a fold-out couch and a small closet) with a curtain to pull back. They have different sized "cribs" to fit the needs of different sized babies, and the nurses are usually assigned one or two patients each. I found a video on their website for the NICU. While we were looking at the room, Nurse Megan, a childhood friend of mine, found us. She works in the NICU and might be taking care of baby while she is there. We are going to meet with her sometime soon, and she is going to help us get ready for baby entering the NICU.

Then we asked to see the Cardiovascular Care Center (CVCC), since that is where she will go after her heart surgery. They, again, have individual rooms for each child, but they are much bigger, and so are the "family areas" in each room. Adam was happy to see that there was an X-Box hooked up in the room we looked at (that ment that he could bring his PS3 in if he buys an HDMI cable ~ and he did buy one online as soon as we got home!). She will probably be here a little bit longer than she will be in the NICU, so it's nice to see that they have a little bit bigger rooms. You can take a virtual tour of their rooms.

While we were walking through the NICU and the CVCC, we saw lots of babies (and children in the CVCC) that were hooked up to different tubes and monitors. Dr. Payne described what she would be hooked up to in about the first 5 minutes of her life. This reality of everything that she is going have to go through is starting to hit me hard.

"Childbirth Preparation Class" No. 2

Too many drives to Minneapolis this week (and next week too!). But at least this time we didn't have to pay for parking! After 6pm they stop monitoring the meters, and since class started at 6pm (and since we were a couple minutes late), we didn't have to pay when we parked on the street.

It seemed like there were fewer people at class this week, but we sat in the front this time, and I didn't turn around much to look behind me.

This week Katy talked about pushing, and how you're supposed to "push like your pooping." Since when you are pushing, you will have a nurse in with you the whole time encouraging you and guiding you, she wouldn't go into a whole lot of detail. But she showed us a couple more videos.

We also talked about back labor, and how it is most common when your baby is "sunny side up" or OP (basically facing your front instead of facing your back or spine). She mentioned a website, where they talk about how you can try to get your baby into that ideal position where baby is facing your back. She said a lot of it has to do with posture. Women used to be on their hands & knees scrubbing floors and doing chores and what-not, but today we sit slumped back in a computer desk chair (which I am currently not slumped back! :) ). That position encourages babies to be in that "sunny side up" position.

Then we learned about medications and pain relief. She gave us a chart to look at with our partners, and decide where each of us were on the pain med scale. Adam was more on the +3 of using drugs, whereas I was more on the - 3 side (I want to try without, but if I need it, I'll use it). But since I still haven't found any drug that does not have any chance of affecting baby's heart rate at all, I moved myself more to the -5 (I won't use it). Katy suggested I ask the doctor at one of my appointments if there were any options for me.

Class went about two or three minutes past 9pm, so when Katy said, "If you want to leave you can, or you can stay and ask me any questions," Adam booked it for the door, since he had to work early in the morning.

Prenatal Partners for Life

A couple weeks ago Mrs. Barrett subbed at school, and having already learned about our baby's diagnosis, referred me to a website for Prenatal Partners for Life. I poked around a little bit on their website and read a couple of people's stories. But of course none of them were about a diagnosis of heterotaxy.

So when I saw an email link at the bottom of the page to share your story, I sent a lovely lady named Mary Kellett a link to my blog, and told her briefly about baby's diagnosis. Mary replied to me with many kind words, and gave me contact information of two different mothers. One who has a baby with GI problems (which our baby might have, as it is common with heterotaxy, but we won't know until she is here), and another for a mother whose baby has another rare diagnosis.

Today in the mail we received a gift of a lamb and a blanket from Mary & her organization. The blanket was made by a mother whose baby was born with Down Syndrome and Mosaic Klinefleter Syndrome, but was sadly called home to be with God when he was about two months old. The blanket is called "Luke's Blanket of Love" and the mother has a website to learn more about the program.

Luke's Blanket of Love

Little Lamb of God

All Transfered to Abbott

I met mom at work, and we went to our "first" appointment at Abbott Northwestern. (We had one other appointment there earlier, but now all my - and baby's - care will be there.) Lindsey, the receptionist seems really nice and helpful. Hopefully she will be just as great as Wendy was at Woodbury.

Just about as soon as we sat down, Jeanine, an ultrasound technician, came out and called us back. She got right down to business, and found baby's heart, then called in Dr. Gremmels. When he looked at her heart, he said he would say the same thing he's said the past couple appointments. She is still holding her own. He said she was at a higher risk of going into heart failure before about 28 weeks, but now that she is further along, she is more likely to go full term without any new complications arising.

They want me to be seen every week for a biophysical profile (just like at Woodbury), but they said that I'm also to the point now where I will be having OB check every week as well. And they want me to have another growth next week.

Since the appointment was so quick and right down to business, Jeanine didn't give us any ultrasound pictures.

Maternity Photo Shoot

Today Jessica Person from First Day Photo came out to our house and took pictures of all three of us! She is a photographer (who I found out does a lot more than just babies... she's going to do a photo shoot with Sarah Palin & Governor Pawlenty! And I guess she was supposed to be the one teaching our "Childbirth Preparation" classes, until that came up!) who works with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep to photograph babies (and mother's bellies) who might not make it. She was wonderful to work with and I would highly recommend her to anyone who is looking for a photographer for a maternity shoot or a newborn shoot! Thanks Jessica!!!

You can check out our photos, just make sure that you enter the password "expecting" to see them!