After two months of trying to conceive with no success, the thought passed through my mind, "What if we can't conceive?" I haven't paid too much attention to the question, as I've read that if you've been trying for a year, and still aren't successful, then "they" suggest that you see a fertility specialist. After only two months, I'm not overly worried.
Another thing has put my mind at ease as well. The other night, I had a dream. In this dream, I was pregnant, and just barely starting to show. I don't know why, but I was kind of trying to hide it by the way I stood. I also didn't touch my tummy, because I thought people would then realize I was pregnant. I don't know why I was trying to hide it, and I don't really remember much past that. But, it did put my mind at ease to have a dream where I was pregnant.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Accuracy of the Magical Stick
The magical stick kind of lied to us. It said that I wasn't pregnant (which was true), but we figured that meant that my "friend" would be coming along on our camping trip. She didn't. Which made us wonder all weekend... was the stick lying? I know I've read that often these tests can't detect the pregnancy hormone until you are 5 weeks pregnant (one week after your missed period, which of course by then you're already pretty sure... or you're thinking that something is wrong with you). So all weekend we weren't sure if we were waiting my "friend" to show up, or if we were expecting.
Throughout many of our "nothing yet" conversations over the weekend, Adam began to realize that he really wasn't ready to have a baby, and I was beginning to realize that I wasn't ready to share Adam's attention with someone else quite yet (only three months of marriage isn't enough for me!).
We got back from camping on Sunday, and we decided that if it was still "nothing yet" that I would take another pregnancy test on Wednesday. But my "friend" showed up on Monday. I was slightly relieved, but slightly disappointed too.
Since we're really not sure what we want, we decided to wait at least for the next three months. (Counting out the nine months, we found that the baby would be born in the summer. Ideally, we would like him/her to be born in April or May so that we can maximize the length of time that we're home with the baby before he/she needs to be in daycare.) Of course I figure, now that we're not trying to conceive, we'll get pregnant. We shall see what happens.
Throughout many of our "nothing yet" conversations over the weekend, Adam began to realize that he really wasn't ready to have a baby, and I was beginning to realize that I wasn't ready to share Adam's attention with someone else quite yet (only three months of marriage isn't enough for me!).
We got back from camping on Sunday, and we decided that if it was still "nothing yet" that I would take another pregnancy test on Wednesday. But my "friend" showed up on Monday. I was slightly relieved, but slightly disappointed too.
Since we're really not sure what we want, we decided to wait at least for the next three months. (Counting out the nine months, we found that the baby would be born in the summer. Ideally, we would like him/her to be born in April or May so that we can maximize the length of time that we're home with the baby before he/she needs to be in daycare.) Of course I figure, now that we're not trying to conceive, we'll get pregnant. We shall see what happens.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Week 3?!?!
The start of a new month, meant the start of a new chance to conceive. We still weren't sure what we wanted, so we still went for "what ever happens, happens." Though the more I thought about it, I decided I was a little more towards waiting until next year to bring a child into the world. I wanted to know what Adam thought though too (as he's half of the problem, or solution, depending on how you're looking at it). So when I asked him, he said he was 50/50 split right down the middle. (For those of you that don't know Adam, this is a very typical response.) So I implored deeper, hoping he would want to wait too, "Are you even 1% more one way or the other?" Of course it took him a while to answer, but he said he was probably more towards having a baby than not. Now that threw me off, as I had been the one asking since before we were married, "When can we have one?" And he had been the one with some comment on how long I would have to wait. But, now the tables have turned. The more I stewed over his 1%, the more comfortable I became with the idea myself.
On about August 10th, I ovulated. Of course we wouldn't know until about August 22nd whether or not we should convert our space bedroom, consisting of a futon & Adam's bookshelf full of sci-fi books, into a nursery. Oh yes, and did I mention that we are leaving to go camping the day before we would know. We really do have impeccable timing when it comes to trips!
Strangely enough, I started getting some cramps on the 16th and 17th. Humm, I wonder if it really is this time, or if it's more of that hypochondriacy setting it, just like last month. But now today, my head feels all woozy and I just want to go back to bed. Though, part of that could be because I told Adam to wake me up (and make me get out of bed!) when he got home from work at 7am. I went to bed at 10:30pm or so last night, so I got eight hours, but who knows.
While I was up until 10:30pm last night, I was looking at a website that has a calendar week-by-week, of what your baby looks like and how it's growing, and what your body is doing. The one new thing that I did learn was that when they are counting how far along you are in your pregnancy, they start counting from the start of your last menstrual cycle. So they say you're two weeks pregnant, before you even conceive. Which puts me in week 3. I showed Adam the yellow bubbles that represented the cell mass that our baby would be (if we are indeed pregnant). I'm not sure he knew exactly what to make of it, but I could see a hint of pride & happiness in his little blob (though he denies it!).
I guess we'll ask the magical stick on Friday before we go camping, "who's going with us?"
On about August 10th, I ovulated. Of course we wouldn't know until about August 22nd whether or not we should convert our space bedroom, consisting of a futon & Adam's bookshelf full of sci-fi books, into a nursery. Oh yes, and did I mention that we are leaving to go camping the day before we would know. We really do have impeccable timing when it comes to trips!
Strangely enough, I started getting some cramps on the 16th and 17th. Humm, I wonder if it really is this time, or if it's more of that hypochondriacy setting it, just like last month. But now today, my head feels all woozy and I just want to go back to bed. Though, part of that could be because I told Adam to wake me up (and make me get out of bed!) when he got home from work at 7am. I went to bed at 10:30pm or so last night, so I got eight hours, but who knows.
While I was up until 10:30pm last night, I was looking at a website that has a calendar week-by-week, of what your baby looks like and how it's growing, and what your body is doing. The one new thing that I did learn was that when they are counting how far along you are in your pregnancy, they start counting from the start of your last menstrual cycle. So they say you're two weeks pregnant, before you even conceive. Which puts me in week 3. I showed Adam the yellow bubbles that represented the cell mass that our baby would be (if we are indeed pregnant). I'm not sure he knew exactly what to make of it, but I could see a hint of pride & happiness in his little blob (though he denies it!).
I guess we'll ask the magical stick on Friday before we go camping, "who's going with us?"
Monday, August 17, 2009
To pee... or not to pee...
Adam and I finally decided that we didn't have an opinion on whether or not we wait to have a baby, or have one now. So we're pretty much just winging it... if we end up pregnant, great... if not, great!
We started decided this last (lunar) month. As the end of the month came closer (and our road trip came closer), and I realized that I didn't know if my "friend" would be coming along on our trip, or if we would be bringing someone new. I read up on a bunch of different sites about different signs of pregnancy (maybe I could tell before my "friend" showed up... or didn't.) Then of course you become a pregnancy hypochondriac, and all of the signs & symptoms you've read about, you suddenly have!
I wasn't to sure if I was excited about this new possibility, or not. But I liked the idea of not knowing much better than knowing (because I really didn't know what I wanted). The day before we left on our trip, we decided I would pee on a magical little stick that would tell us who would be joining us on our trip.
It's not like it's a hard test to take, and since we didn't know what we wanted the results to be, there was no way to fail the test either. But for some reason, I was still nervous to take it. Adam decided to take a nap (I don't know why, he doesn't get up until 2:30am! Alright, maybe I do.), and I decided that would be a good time to use this magical stick. I read all the directions (for what I believe was the third time... I guess you can't be too prepared for a test that you can't fail!), and did exactly as instructed. I won't go into all the details, but after I waited the three minutes (down to the very last second, I watched the oven timer) as instructed, I picked up the magical stick and it had one line. Now, as I had read the directions three times, I knew well that the one line meant that my "friend" would be joining us on our trip.
Sure enough she showed up the next day, the day we hit the road bound for Oregon.
We started decided this last (lunar) month. As the end of the month came closer (and our road trip came closer), and I realized that I didn't know if my "friend" would be coming along on our trip, or if we would be bringing someone new. I read up on a bunch of different sites about different signs of pregnancy (maybe I could tell before my "friend" showed up... or didn't.) Then of course you become a pregnancy hypochondriac, and all of the signs & symptoms you've read about, you suddenly have!
I wasn't to sure if I was excited about this new possibility, or not. But I liked the idea of not knowing much better than knowing (because I really didn't know what I wanted). The day before we left on our trip, we decided I would pee on a magical little stick that would tell us who would be joining us on our trip.
It's not like it's a hard test to take, and since we didn't know what we wanted the results to be, there was no way to fail the test either. But for some reason, I was still nervous to take it. Adam decided to take a nap (I don't know why, he doesn't get up until 2:30am! Alright, maybe I do.), and I decided that would be a good time to use this magical stick. I read all the directions (for what I believe was the third time... I guess you can't be too prepared for a test that you can't fail!), and did exactly as instructed. I won't go into all the details, but after I waited the three minutes (down to the very last second, I watched the oven timer) as instructed, I picked up the magical stick and it had one line. Now, as I had read the directions three times, I knew well that the one line meant that my "friend" would be joining us on our trip.
Sure enough she showed up the next day, the day we hit the road bound for Oregon.
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