On my way back to Minneapolis with Adam this time, I was wearing my sunglasses, but Adam could see or tell somehow that I had tears in my eyes.
-My mood has been up and down through out this pregnancy. I was sad that we didn't get to experience a lot of things, that most couples get to experience when they have a baby. I want to be able to hold my baby girl right after she is born and spend time getting to know her and comfort her before she leaves to go to the NICU. But I will only be able to have a quick glance, before they whisk her away and hook her up to several tubes and whatnot. I'm sure that has to be scary for her, just coming into this world and then getting checked out by several doctors and getting tubes put into her tummy. But I won't be able to be there to hold her or talk to her or soothe her.-
And he asked if I wanted to turn around and go home. I didn't though, I wanted to finish out the class and learn all I could learn.
In class, Katy told the birth story process from the view of the baby, then from the view of the mother. She talked about how right after the baby is born, they place the baby on the mother's chest, and the baby, no matter how many other people are around talking, always looks at the mother and father, because she recognizes the voices from in the womb. When she was describing all this, my eyes started to tear up again, but I managed to hold it in.
Then she talked about c-sections, and said that often moms come back after they deliver, and tell Katy that she should have talked about c-sections. And she just nods and smiles, knowing that she talked about it in their class, but most people tune out, because that's not what they want. Since Dr. Fairbanks had just told me that morning that there was no option, but a c-section. So I listened to her tell the birth story from both perspectives again, but for a c-section instead. But even that didn't sound like what my birth story will be, because mom and baby still got to spend time together. Even with a c-section, they will briefly show me our daughter, then Adam will follow her into another room, and then later to the NICU, while they stitch me back up.
Of course, I'm glad we went to the class and learned all that we did, but I only wish that we could have many of these experiences, and that baby wouldn't have to go through everything that she will have to go through.
-My mood has been up and down through out this pregnancy. I was sad that we didn't get to experience a lot of things, that most couples get to experience when they have a baby. I want to be able to hold my baby girl right after she is born and spend time getting to know her and comfort her before she leaves to go to the NICU. But I will only be able to have a quick glance, before they whisk her away and hook her up to several tubes and whatnot. I'm sure that has to be scary for her, just coming into this world and then getting checked out by several doctors and getting tubes put into her tummy. But I won't be able to be there to hold her or talk to her or soothe her.-
And he asked if I wanted to turn around and go home. I didn't though, I wanted to finish out the class and learn all I could learn.
In class, Katy told the birth story process from the view of the baby, then from the view of the mother. She talked about how right after the baby is born, they place the baby on the mother's chest, and the baby, no matter how many other people are around talking, always looks at the mother and father, because she recognizes the voices from in the womb. When she was describing all this, my eyes started to tear up again, but I managed to hold it in.
Then she talked about c-sections, and said that often moms come back after they deliver, and tell Katy that she should have talked about c-sections. And she just nods and smiles, knowing that she talked about it in their class, but most people tune out, because that's not what they want. Since Dr. Fairbanks had just told me that morning that there was no option, but a c-section. So I listened to her tell the birth story from both perspectives again, but for a c-section instead. But even that didn't sound like what my birth story will be, because mom and baby still got to spend time together. Even with a c-section, they will briefly show me our daughter, then Adam will follow her into another room, and then later to the NICU, while they stitch me back up.
Of course, I'm glad we went to the class and learned all that we did, but I only wish that we could have many of these experiences, and that baby wouldn't have to go through everything that she will have to go through.
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